Spirituality
'It is not that I think or believe, but that I know.'
Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
Some things I seem to know intuitively, and I know spirituality is involved in, and affects, everything. In a human being, it combines the physical, mental, and emotional states, but it also reaches beyond the human being and connects the peoples of the world. Spirituality is the force for good and wholeness in the universe.
This is not just an opinion or a thought. It is a feeling that runs so deep in my being that I know it must be true. When I read, listen to music, or watch a movie, this feeling is often evoked. I know God is alive in the world and wants it to be one.
In the silence of Your world I know You.
Martyrs
'A thing is not necessarily true because everyone dies for it.'
Oscar Wilde
In the battle with alcoholism, my involvement with God's will for me is crucial. My choice is the result of God's gift of freedom, and freedom can be awfully real! The price of freedom is Auschwitz, the world's starving millions, and the dead drunk in a derelict building. People do insane and destructive things, usually because they think they know best. They die to protect their egos.
Today I am learning to detach spiritually to discover a pure and selfless love. I stand back and consider before I act. Often after a time of reflection, I see the event differently―and it is okay to change my mind.
God, I understand choice is the key
to my humanity.
Isolation
'No one is an island, entire of itself; everyone is a piece of the continent, a part of the main.'
John Donne
For years, I thought I was alone―lost, isolated, and afraid. Today I understand this to be a symptom of my alcoholism, an aspect of my disease. Alcoholism is 'cunning, baffling, and powerful.' It is a mystery we have only begun to understand. One thing we know: The disease―the 'ism' of alcoholism―involves more than the act of drinking. Feelings of inadequacy, isolation, and fear keep us from recovering until we discover the spiritual strength to confront the disease in our lives. The initial risk of letting go and trusting others is an essential part of the recovery process.
Dear God, I believe I am part of this world
and an important part of You.
Freedom
'A hungry person is not a free person.'
Adlai Stevenson
For years, I craved food. It was my escape from reality. It stopped the pain, loneliness, and anger for a moment. It felt good. Eventually, I began to feel bad, but I could not stop. I was addicted to sugar. My freedom was exchanged for doughnuts!
I heard someone talk about compulsion around cocaine and gambling. When I asked how he managed to abstain, he replied: 'Talk about it, a day at a time!'
Today I am compulsive about getting well. I talk about my disease every day. The price of freedom is vulnerability. God is in the risk. I have taken it.
God, let me experience freedom
in the choices I make today.
Change
'It is the most unhappy people who most fear change.'
Mignon McLaughlin
When I was drinking, I hated change. I hated things not being the same. I feared anything being different. Rarely did I want to go anywhere new. My attitudes were fixed and rigid. I resented any criticism of my behavior. The unexpected was seen as sabotage or a threat. My paranoia was extreme.
Today I have decided to let go of the control, the pretense, and the arrogance. I face life as it comes, and today I do not drink. I am responsible for my life, but I cannot control the world. I am learning to relax in the acceptance of my disease.
May I always discover the courage
to change the things I can.
Boredom
'Nothing is interesting if you are not interested.'
Helen MacInnes
There is a distinction between 'dry' and 'sober.' Sober alcoholics choose not to drink because they have accepted their alcoholism. Dry alcoholics are not drinking but are invariably angry and resentful and do not express these feelings. Their abstinence is not exciting because they are not interested in it; they are bored. They really want to drink. They have stopped drinking for reasons that do not include acceptance of the disease; thus, they are still victims of it.
Sobriety, by contrast, is an adventure into self. It greets the new day with enthusiasm and energy. Sobriety is the spiritual discovery of God in my life.
Let me always remember that my interests
in life reflect my interest in You.
God
'I have had the experience of being gripped by something stronger than myself, something people call God.'
Carl Jung
God is beyond my comprehension. In a sense, we are all agnostics―none of us knows for certain, and uncertainty is part of faith. However, there are moments when God is vivid and alive in new and stimulating experiences that defy explanation except for saying 'That's God.'
Loving relationships, friendships, the beauty of nature, and the complexities of life and the universe, not to mention music, poetry, and the human conscience, all speak of God. History is full of holy people who carry the message that God is love and is to be discovered in my love of self and others.
God, help me discover You
in my doubt and confusion.
©2008. Leo Booth. All rights reserved. Reprinted from Say Yes to Your Life. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means, without the written permission of the publisher. Publisher: Health Communications, Inc., 3201 SW 15th Street, Deerfield Beach, FL 33442
