Road Map to Holland: How I Found My Way Through My Son's First Two Years With Down Syndrome

by Jennifer Graf Groneberg

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Author: Jennifer Graf Groneberg

Publisher: Berkley

Paperback:
ISBN 10: 0451222954
ISBN 13: 978-0451222954

An exceptional memoir that provides emotional insight and practical advice.

It's like planning a trip to Italy, only to get off the plane and discover you're actually in Holland. You need a new road map, and fast...

When Jennifer Groneberg and her husband learned they'd be having twin boys, their main concern was whether they'd need an addition on their house. Then, five days after Avery and Bennett were born, Avery was diagnosed with Down syndrome.

Here, Jennifer shares the story of what followed. She dealt with doctors-some who helped, and some who were disrespectful or even dangerous. She saw some relationships in her life grow stronger, while severing ties with people who proved unsupportive. And she continues to struggle to find balance in the hardships and joys of raising a child with special needs. This book is a resource, a companion for parents, and above all, a story of the love between a mother and her son-as she learns that Avery is exactly the child she never knew she wanted.

From Publishers Weekly

Montana wife and mother Groneberg traces in her tenderly moving account the life-changing realization after the premature birth of her twin boys that one of them, Avery, has Down syndrome. Utterly unprepared for the emergency C-section of the seven-week-early preemies, Groneberg and her writer husband, Tom, the parents of a four-year-old, are devastated by the news about Avery, and they must gradually alter their easygoing future plans about raising their kids. They reject the notion of adoption, suggested by a well-intentioned nurse at the hospital where the babies are ensconced in the neonatal intensive-care unit, and embark on an exhaustively trying, ultimately enlightening journey to care for the needy babies, especially Avery, and educate themselves about his condition. Rising from the shame of feeling that their family is broken, and letting slide hurtful comments by a grocery-store clerk or neighbor, Groneberg devoured books and information from the Internet, and began to foster their son's development by seeking out physical therapists and specialists. Small gains in Avery's motor skills were causes for celebration, and the beginning of speech the greatest gift the parents could ask for. Groneberg affectingly delineates these gradual, hard-won stages during Avery's first year toward love and acceptance. (Apr.)
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Review

"Rich with honesty, wisdom, and a deep appreciation for every day miracles, "Road Map to Holland "is a thoughtful, moving meditation on the struggles and joys Jennifer Graf Groneberg and her family experienced during her son Avery's first two years. Groneberg offers a wealth of insight, information, and even practical resources for families whose children have Down syndrome. Yet this book is first and foremost a story about the constant discovery of love, and it will resonate with every reader who has traveled the always unpredictable, often overwhelming, wonder-filled journey into parenthood."
-Kim Edwards, author of "The Memory Keeper's Daughter"
"I have been 'to Holland' for eighteen years now, and this book brought back so many thoughts and feelings I had saved up that I felt an immediate sisterhood with Jennifer. I watched her deal with that same fear of the unknown that singed my heart, and I wept when she reached that crucial moment when she found that same place of self-forgiveness. No matter who or where you are in relation to a child with Down syndrome, these pages will be like signposts along your road, to give hope and a new way of seeing things. It's good to be able to see the potholes coming and be ready for them, and it's good to know when to pull over and take the time to enjoy the breathtaking views that only happen on this road. Thank goodness for road maps!"
-Martha Sears, coauthor, "The Baby Book: Everything You Need to Know About Your Baby From Birth to Age Two" and author, "25 Things Every New Mother Should Know"
"What a remarkable book! With excruciating candor and exquisite generosity, Jennifer Graf Groneberg invites us into the deepest privacyof her innermost thoughts, feelings, fears, challenges and triumphs. Nothing is left out in this amazingly intimate and profound journal. She allows us into every nook and cranny of her life and we find ourselves firmly ensconced in her heart."
-Emily Perl Kingsley, national spokesperson and advocate for people with disabilities and author of ""Welcome to Holland""
"This is the story of Avery-a child with Down syndrome who transformed his mother's broken heart into one filled with cheer, awe, and pride. He offers all new and expectant parents a powerful perspective on life's greatest lessons."
-Brian Skotko, M.D., M.P.P., Children's Hospital Boston & Boston Medical Center.
"Bursting with hope, Groneberg's account of mothering Avery highlights the triumph of love over fear. Its candid, vivid prose and poignant emotion make the story is difficult to put down and impossible to forget. Herein lies truth to be pondered and savored by every mother, every woman, every human being."
-Kathryn Lynard Soper, editor of "Gifts: Mothers Reflect on How Children with Down Syndrome Enrich Their Lives"

aRich with honesty, wisdom, and a deep appreciation for every day miracles, "Road Map to Holland "is a thoughtful, moving meditation on the struggles and joys Jennifer Graf Groneberg and her family experienced during her son Averyas first two years. Groneberg offers a wealth of insight, information, and even practical resources for families whose children have Down syndrome. Yet this book is first and foremost a story about the constant discovery of love, and it will resonate with every reader who has traveled the always unpredictable, often overwhelming, wonder-filled journey into parenthood.a
aKim Edwards, author of "The Memory Keeperas Daughter"
aI have been ato Hollanda for eighteen years now, and this book brought back so many thoughts and feelings I had saved up that I felt an immediate sisterhood with Jennifer. I watched her deal with that same fear of the unknown that singed my heart, and I wept when she reached that crucial moment when she found that same place of self-forgiveness. No matter who or where you are in relation to a child with Down syndrome, these pages will be like signposts along your road, to give hope and a new way of seeing things. Itas good to be able to see the potholes coming and be ready for them, and itas good to know when to pull over and take the time to enjoy the breathtaking views that only happen on this road. Thank goodness for road maps!a
aMartha Sears, coauthor, "The Baby Book: Everything You Need to Know About Your Baby From Birth to Age Two" and author, "25 Things Every New Mother Should Know"
aWhat a remarkable book! With excruciating candor and exquisite generosity, Jennifer Graf Groneberg invites us into the deepest privacyof her innermost thoughts, feelings, fears, challenges and triumphs. Nothing is left out in this amazingly intimate and profound journal. She allows us into every nook and cranny of her life and we find ourselves firmly ensconced in her heart.a
aEmily Perl Kingsley, national spokesperson and advocate for people with disabilities and author of ""Welcome to Holland""
aThis is the story of Averyaa child with Down syndrome who transformed his motheras broken heart into one filled with cheer, awe, and pride. He offers all new and expectant parents a powerful perspective on lifeas greatest lessons.a
aBrian Skotko, M.D., M.P.P., Childrenas Hospital Boston & Boston Medical Center.
aBursting with hope, Gronebergas account of mothering Avery highlights the triumph of love over fear. Its candid, vivid prose and poignant emotion make the story is difficult to put down and impossible to forget. Herein lies truth to be pondered and savored by every mother, every woman, every human being.a
aKathryn Lynard Soper, editor of "Gifts: Mothers Reflect on How Children with Down Syndrome Enrich Their Lives"

?Rich with honesty, wisdom, and a deep appreciation for every day miracles, "Road Map to Holland "is a thoughtful, moving meditation on the struggles and joys Jennifer Graf Groneberg and her family experienced during her son Avery's first two years. Groneberg offers a wealth of insight, information, and even practical resources for families whose children have Down syndrome. Yet this book is first and foremost a story about the constant discovery of love, and it will resonate with every reader who has traveled the always unpredictable, often overwhelming, wonder-filled journey into parenthood.?
?Kim Edwards, author of "The Memory Keeper's Daughter"
?I have been ?to Holland? for eighteen years now, and this book brought back so many thoughts and feelings I had saved up that I felt an immediate sisterhood with Jennifer. I watched her deal with that same fear of the unknown that singed my heart, and I wept when she reached that crucial moment when she found that same place of

About the Author

Jennifer Graf Groneberg's exceptional memoir Road Map to Holland: How I Found My Way Through My Son's First Two Year's with Down Syndrome provides practical insight and emotional support to parents of children with special needs. Graf Groneberg is also the editor of My Heart's First Steps: Writings That Celebrate the Gifts of Parenthood and is a contributor to anthologies such as The Maternal is Political, Car Seat on a Camel, Gifts: Mothers Reflect on How Children with Down Syndrome Have Enriched Their Lives, Woven on the Wind and Crazy Woman Creek. Her essays have appeared in Baby Talk, Child, Parents, Parenting, Mothering and Midwifery Today. She lives and writes at the foot of the Crazy Mountains in central Montana with her husband, author Tom Groneberg, and their three sons.

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Road Map to Holland: How I Found My Way Through My Son's First Two Years With Down Syndrome