If you have recently been struck with the news by a therapist that you or your relationship is "codependent" you may be asking yourself "What the hell does that mean?" And if neither you nor your partner is an alcoholic or has any known addiction, you may not be clear as to what it means to be told you are suffering from codependency.
As my life began to unravel before my very eyes, I often times felt shear panic over what to do next. I had lived my life under the impression that I was doing everything right. What I did not realize was, I was also trying to control everything and everyone in my experience. When my husband didn't do what I thought he should do, I became angry, sad, depressed and often times blamed him for why I felt so overwhelmed. And it wasn't just him I seemed to have issues with. In my mind, I was right--about everything--and everyone else was wrong. And then I heard the words, "Lisa you're not crazy--but you are codependent," and I understood that perhaps--just maybe I needed to start looking at what I may have been doing wrong--instead of focusing on others.
When my marriage fell apart and I found myself suddenly alone, and responsible for my three young children, there were many moments when I felt as if negative self talk was going to gobble me up. Depression was so thick, sometimes I wondered how it was I was ever going to face another day. Constant self battery was the norm. Once I did not know about this thing called Self Awareness.
When we are unconscious to why our lives are not working, we often think other people are the reasons why we are so unhappy. We are confused because we keep attracting partners, friends and acquaintances that abuse us, or take advantage of us. We are unaware that our subconscious ideas about Self are the reasons we keep attracting people into our lives that cannot support us emotionally or otherwise. We hear ourselves yearning for a healthy relationship, yet are deaf to the unconscious wounds that shout, "I am not enough--I am not deserving". Until these ideas are brought to the conscious mind where they can be observed, and ultimately dealt with appropriately, Self neglect and abuse continues.
Affirmations helped me heal my once tattered life, and they can and will do the same for you.
These affirmations helped me stay focused on 'me' and what was going on inside 'my head' so that I could teach myself how to 'detach' and finally take responsibility for my 'own happiness'. It wasn't an easy thing; to heal my codependent mind, but heal I have, and happy I am.
May these affirmations be just the dose of self help medicine you need to keep you focused on the road back to you.
