We Should Get Together: The Secret to Cultivating Better Friendships
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$25.99
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Author: Kat Vellos
Publisher: Katherine Vellos
Hardcover:
ISBN 10: 1734379707
ISBN 13: 978-1734379709
We Should Get Together is the handbook for anyone who's ready for better friendships, now.
- Have you recently moved to a new city and are struggling to make friends?
- Do you find yourself constantly making plans with friends that fall through?
- Are you more likely to see your friends' social media posts than their faces?
You aren't alone. Millions of adults struggle with an uncomfortable and persistent ache: platonic longing, which is the unfulfilled wish for authentic, resilient, close friendships. But it doesn't have to be this way. Making and maintaining friendships during adulthood can be hard--or, with a bit of intention and creativity, joyful.
Author Kat Vellos, experience designer and founder of Better Than Small Talk, tackles the four most common challenges of adult friendship: constant relocation, full schedules, the demands of partnership and family, and our culture's declining capacity for compassion and intimacy in the age of social media. Combining expert research and personal stories pulled from conversations with hundreds of adults, We Should Get Together is the modern handbook for making and maintaining stronger friendships.
With this book you will learn to:
- Make and maintain friendships when you (or your friends) keep moving
- Have deeper and more meaningful conversations
- Triumph over awkwardness in social situations
- Become less dependent on your phone
- Identify and prioritize quality connections
- Find time for friendship despite your busy calendar
- Create closer, more durable friendships
Full of relatable stories, practical tips, 60 charming illustrations, 55 suggested activities, a book club discussion guide, and 300+ conversation starters, We Should Get Together is the perfect book for anyone who wants to have dedicated, life-enriching friends, and who wants to be that kind of friend, too.
Review
"...The sheer amount of energy and inventiveness on display in these pages, engagingly written and illustrated by the author, will give even the most jaded some hope for more friendships in the future. A heartfelt and winningly optimistic guide to understanding--and finding more--friendship." -- Kirkus Review
"Vellos, a user experience designer and founder of the discussion series Better Than Small Talk, brings her social know-how to the masses with her marvelous debut handbook on adult friendship. After moving to the San Francisco Bay Area and having a tough time making long-term, quality friends, Vellos decided to study experiences of friendship. In interviews, discussions, and surveys, she found that most people reported a feeling she calls platonic longing. Vellos attributes this longing to the quest for friendship being stymied by frequent moves, busyness, other relationship commitments, and "antisocial media." She is a firm believer that vulnerability and hard work are the keys to overcoming these obstacles and building quality connections, and her book lays out strategies for cultivating friendships both new and old.There is so much to love about this handbook. Vellos's writing is easy and conversational; she shares stories of cooking with housemates and neighbors as if chatting with the reader over a meal. Such anecdotes are seamlessly accompanied by robust research that helps readers understand the value of relationships in measurable ways. At the end of each chapter, a "Try it" section is filled with activities, journal prompts, and more invitations to dig deeper. Vellos's own charming drawings complement the text.
Vellos powerfully and personally challenges the reader. Her tips are more like life coaching sessions, pushing her audience to defy awkwardness and ask thoughtful questions. Those reading this book to improve their friendships may end up improving themselves as well. The only limitation is that Vellos's advice is focused on face-to-face relationships in urban environments, and much of it is applicable in other situations. If every person who reads this book takes it to heart, there will be a lot more friendship in the world.
Takeaway: This tender, practical handbook will help lonely millennials, isolated parents, the recently heartbroken, and anyone else eager for more and better friendships.
Great for fans of Gretchen Rubin's The Happiness Project, Brené Brown, and Mari Andrew." --BookLife by Publishers Weekly
"Tips, tricks, and a sense of comfort are what Vellos grants those who could use a little help in the friend department. She lays out key ingredients for how to stop the excuses and change your life. Vellos is committed to raising the happiness level among the population--the only prescription is more friendship!"
-- San Francisco Book Review "Deep and thorough in its exploration of all the facets of friendship. This book is truly a gift." -- Laura Parker, MFT, founder of
Transforming Loneliness"Loved it! You may not think you need it, but there's something for everyone in these pages and the most adorable illustrations too!" --
Reedsy Discovery
About the Author
Kat Vellos is the author of "We Should Get Together: The Secret to Cultivating Better Friendships". She is a user experience designer, speaker, facilitator, and community creator. Her work crosses disciplines, but is almost always focused on helping others thrive by having more creative and connected lives.
As a user experience designer, she's worked for Slack and Pandora, as well as with the creators of Siri designing the first iteration of Bixby. Kat has been profiled in Forbes and quoted in FastCompany for her work as the founder of Bay Area Black Designers which is a professional development community for Black designers and UX researchers.
Over the last twenty years Kat has created, run, and mentored a variety of communities focused on everything from spoken word poetry to photography to digital design to authentic connection and friendship. She's the creator and facilitator of Better than Small Talk, an immersive experience of authenticity and connection that's been held in Seattle, Oakland, and Berkeley. She has been a facilitator for Partners for Youth Empowerment and Young Women Empowered, and she's also been a speaker at Design for America, UX Week, Social Good Tech Week, the Transforming Loneliness Summit, AIGA, Techqueria, and a podcast guest on Revision Path. Her writing has been featured in Open Review Quarterly, Jane's Stories, and the NW National Service Symposium.
Kat's mission and legacy are to be a driver of creation cycles that educate, inspire, and empower others to live their best lives possible.