Healing from a Narcissistic Relationship

by Margalis Fjelstad

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Author: Margalis Fjelstad

Publisher: Rowman & Littlefield

Paperback:
ISBN 10: 1538136651
ISBN 13: 978-1538136652

When a relationship with a narcissist ends, the caretaking partner is often left confused, deeply hurt, and often still emotionally connected, while the narcissist seems to easily move on to the next relationship. Healing from a Narcissistic Relationship offers guidance about what to expect as the relationship unravels and how to cope with the fallout. It also helps the reader learn to truly disengage and move through the grief process.

Presenting techniques for healing and rebuilding self-esteem and self-confidence, this book offers a guide to developing emotional strength and encourages forgiveness and reconciliation with the past. It shows the reader how to increase emotional self-protections, quit caretaking in relationships, and become more independent and self-loving. Using real stories, Margalis Fjelstad offers a process of healing that can direct the reader away from former patterns of inequitable relationships and toward loving, caring connections that can truly grow healthfully and flourish. It shows that ending a relationship with a narcissist may be the best thing that ever happened.

Review

Must-read for anyone struggling with the ending of a relationship with a narcissist. Dr. Fjelstad clearly and powerfully lays out what you need to do for yourself to heal from the ravages of a relationship with a narcissist. I love her straight-forward way of describing the narcissist, as well as her direct, no-nonsense way of describing the caretaker - the enabler of the narcissist. If you want to heal from the end of your relationships with a narcissist, as well as not repeat your same patterns in your next relationship, this book is for you. (Margaret Paul, PhD, co-creator of Inner Bonding; author of Inner Bonding; co-author of Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You? and Healing Your Aloneness)

Margalis Fjelstad does a wonderfully thorough job of helping to understand what motivates the narcissist and in recognizing the partner’s role in the relationship. However, this book is not just about being in relationship with a narcissist. It is chock-full of valuable insights for other difficult relationships as well. Healing from a Narcissistic Relationship explores the identical Issues I’ve focused on with couples for the last 30 years. I especially appreciate the attention she gives to expectations and disappointments, the Drama Triangle, overly-controlling behavior, lack of personal boundaries, rejection and taking things personally. (Elayne Savage, PhD, relationship and workplace coach; professional speaker; author of Don’t Take It Personally! The Art of Dealing with Rejection and Breathing Room – Creating Space to Be a Couple)

Margalis Fjelstad provides a complete overview and does exactly what the subtitle says, guides the caretaker to recovery, empowerment and transformation. Healing from a Narcissistic Relationship goes much farther than clinical knowledge and gets to the feelings of hurt and betrayal; offering a great deal of knowledge of what it's really like to have a narcissistic partner. (Randi Kreger, borderline and narcissistic personality disorders expert and advocate for families, the author/coauthor of Stop Walking on Eggshells and The Essential Family Guide to Borderline Personality Disorder)

About the Author

Margalis Fjelstad, PhD, LMFT, works with clients who are in relationship to someone who has borderline or narcissistic personality disorder, and she facilitates groups on Caretaker recovery. She has previously been an Adjunct Faculty member at Regis University in Colorado Springs and at California State University in Sacramento. She is the author of the hugely popular Rowman & Littlefield title Stop Caretaking the Borderline or Narcissist.

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Healing from a Narcissistic Relationship