Overcoming Passive-Aggression: How to Stop Hidden Anger from Spoiling Your Relationships, Career and Happiness
Author: Loriann Hoff Oberlin
Publisher: Da Capo Lifelong Books
Paperback:
ISBN 10: 1569243611
ISBN 13: 978-1569243619
In Overcoming Passive-Aggression, Dr. Tim Murphy and Loriann Hoff Oberlin provide an in-depth look at a topic we've all faced but haven't always recognized: Hidden anger. When people don't express their views and feel compelled to conceal their true beliefs and emotions, behaving in ways that don't match what they honestly think, there can be serious physical and psychological results for everyone involved. For the first time, Murphy and Oberlin offer a clear definition of passive-aggression and show readers not only how to end the behavior, but also how to avoid falling victim to other people's hidden anger. In clear, compassionate language, they cover everything from the childhood origins of the condition to the devastating effect it has on work and personal relationships to the latest research on the subject, and offer practical, proven strategies for the angry person as well as the individual who finds himself the target of someone else's passive-aggression.
From Publishers Weekly
Hidden anger that comes out indirectly—through inappropriate, unproductive action or even inaction—can undermine relationships with friends, family and colleagues at work. Murphy, a psychologist and member of Congress, and Oberlin (coauthors of The Angry Child) closely examine how this kind of anger, called passive-aggressive, can undermine sufferers and their relationships and make life generally miserable. The authors also examine the problems faced by the victims of passive-aggressive behavior, who often don't understand why the angry person is acting as he does: "The nastiest thing about hidden anger is that it sneaks up on you... much like a boa constrictor that gradually tightens its grip until it's too late for you to get away." A frank and interesting chapter on the roots of anger in childhood is followed by constructive advice for those who experience hidden anger on how to handle that anger at work, at school and in a myriad of relationships. While acknowledging the complexity of the problem, the work provides ample opportunity (and exercises) for personal growth regardless of whether you are on the giving or receiving end of passive aggression. (Dec.)
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Review
"...scientifically well-grounded, beautifully written, and eminently practical in its discussion of...the expression of anger, direct and hidden." -- Theodore Millon, PhD, DSc, Professor of Psychiatry, Harvard University, author of Personality Disorders in Modern Life
"Overcoming Passive-Aggression helps passive-aggressives deal with their hidden anger and offers their targets ways to cope and manage." -- Martin Kantor, MD, author of Passive-Aggression: A Guide for the Therapist, the Patient, and the Victim
"If you struggle with your anger, this book will be invaluable in guiding you to healthier outlets for your feelings." -- Larry B. Silver, M.D., clinical professor of psychiatry at Georgetown University Medical Center
"This well-written and accessible book will help you recognize this problem in yourself and those whose hidden anger affects you." -- Redford Williams, MD and Virginia Williams, PhD, authors of Anger Kills
"Well-written and easy to read, Overcoming Passive-Aggression offers practical advice on ways to overcome the problem." -- Michael Thase, MD, University of Pittsburgh Medical Center and author of Beating the Blues
About the Author
Tim Murphy, Ph.D. has spent four decades as a psychologist and advocate for better healthcare. In January 2015, he began serving his seventh term in the U.S. House of Representatives. Before that, he served as a Pennsylvania State Senator. He is co-chair of the Mental Health Caucus and the author of landmark reform legislation, called the Helping Families in Mental Health Crisis Act, HR 2646 of 2015. It was created to help solve shortages in mental healthcare, improve research, allow families to have a helpful role in care, and provide treatment before tragedy.
Congressman Murphy has received praise for this from many professional organizations as well as media outlets from coast to coast, including CNN, The Washington Post, The Wall Street Journal, The Seattle Times, San Francisco Chronicle and Pittsburgh Post Gazette. Dr. Murphy serves as a commander in the Navy Reserve Medical Service Corps at Walter Reed National Military Center in Bethesda, Maryland. He has an active license as a psychologist and in years past had a private practice in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania where he also worked with families at Children's Hospital of Pittsburgh.