Lost in the Reflecting Pool: A Memoir

by Diane Pomerantz

$15.95

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Author: Diane Pomerantz

Publisher: She Writes Press

Paperback:
ISBN 10: 163152268X
ISBN 13: 978-1631522680

Award-Winning Memoir

2017 Readers’ Favorite

When Diane, a psychologist, falls in love with Charles, a charming and brilliant psychiatrist, there is laughter and flowers―and also darkness. After moving through infertility treatments and the trials of the adoption process as a united front, the couple is ultimately successful in creating a family. As time goes on, however, Charles becomes increasingly critical and controlling, and Diane begins to feel barraged and battered. When she is diagnosed with aggressive breast cancer, Charles is initially there for her, but his attentiveness quickly vanishes and is replaced by withdrawal, anger, and unfathomable sadism. What Diane previously thought were just Charles' controlling ways are replaced by clear pathologic narcissism and emotional abuse that turns venomous at the very hour of her greatest need.

A memoir and a psychological love story that is at times tender and at times horrifying, Lost in the Reflecting Pool is a chronicle of one woman's struggle to survive within―and ultimately break free of―a relationship with a man incapable of caring about anyone beyond himself.

Review

2017 Human Relations Indie Book Awards: Gold in the Memoir category
2017 Human Relations Indie Book Awards: Gold in the Marriage-Relationship category
2017 Human Relations Indie Book Awards: Silver in the Reflection category
2017 Human Relations Indie Book Awards: Bronze in Life Challenges
2017 Foreword Indies Honorable Mention in Adult Nonfiction―Family & Relationships
2017 Readers Favorite Awards: Honorable Mention - Women’s Issues and Foreword Reviews
2017 Readers Favorite Awards: Honorable Mention - Family and Relationships

"Wow, what an amazing book! The prologue scene is worthy of Hitchcock. It is powerfully cinematic and grabs the reader’s attention. Diane Pomerantz knows how to immerse the reader in the world of the story using captivating action, vivid descriptions, interesting characters, and a direct, engaging writing style. I couldn’t put the book down. I wanted to know what happened. I stayed up past my bedtime reading this book and could not rest until I finished it. Diane certainly creates a sense of connection with the reader.”
―judge, 2018 Ben Franklin Awards

"Diane Pomerantz’s Lost in the Reflecting Pool is a searing memoir of a marriage gone wrong. It’s a story of psychological and emotional abuse but also one of resilience, strength, and finding one’s way out of the darkest times. Pomerantz’s account is riveting and harrowing. The book opens with a scene that leaves no doubt of the difficult material to come and casts a pall over the happy stories of the couple’s early married life. Those stories are convincing and make the slow descent into disillusionment and despair all the more moving . . . Its atmosphere is nightmarish and grim, perfect for the subject matter ... the skill with which Pomerantz evokes sympathy and horror makes the book a page-turner.”
―Foreword Reviews

“This is a memoir about a relationship that spans two decades. Pomerantz excels at description and scene-setting throughout, as in passages about the couple’s early days: ‘The luminous glow of the flames danced from the old stone fireplace through the dimpled glass windows reflecting back the white blanket that silently encased us in our warm, private cocoon.”
―Kirkus Review

“Pomerantz’s memoir is a well-plotted, swift-paced story full of vivid details. This gem of a book stands out from the pack, Not only does the author survive a horrible marriage, she survives cancer. Her characters are real and multi-dimensional.”
―Book Life/ Publisher’s Weekly

"A riveting, bold, and tender portrait of a woman surviving cancer and marital betrayal. Dr. Pomerantz exemplifies how we can find inner strength and new meaning in life―even when forgiveness makes no sense."
―Janis Abrahms Spring, Ph.D., author of How Can I Forgive You? and After the Affair

"'Relationships evolve,' Pomerantz, a psychologist, wisely tells us. 'They have a life cycle.' And in her gripping memoir Lost in the Reflecting Pool, she fearlessly shares the story of her marriage to a charismatic psychiatrist whose narcissistic behavior menacingly emerges as time goes on. Her story is one of extraordinary resilience as she faces the challenges of starting a family and fighting a deadly disease, while dealing with her critical and untrustworthy husband who undermines her sense of worth and creates an atmosphere of fear. An exceptionally honest and engaging read!"
―Betty Hafner, author of Not Exactly Love: A Memoir

"Lost in the Reflecting Pool follows Diane Pomerantz through a harrowing psychological nightmare in which she is nearly lost to herself and her children. As it often happens, physical illness descends on her while she is in the midst of confounding marital upheaval. Is she losing her mind? Or is her spouse? As a mental health professional, Pomerantz has the expertise to look back clearly at what happened then, and the writerly chops to transform her story into a compelling, intense, and emotional immersive read."
―Judy L. Mandel, author of the New York Times bestseller Replacement Child

"Lost in the Reflecting Pool is an intense, true story about how an intelligent woman is sucked into a marriage that slowly becomes abusive―not physically, but emotionally and mentally. A step at a time, she loses her sense of herself and her autonomy, until she begins to fight to reclaim her independence and self-worth. It's important for women to read and understand how a marriage can begin with so much promise, and then become an almost fatal trap."
―Marge Piercy, New York Times best-selling author, poet, and memoirist

"The emotional journey that is Lost in the Reflecting Pool is a story of love and of life, of courage and endurance, made all the more real and relevant by Dr. Pomerantz's human frailty. She, like the wild flowers in the field, despite their seeming delicacy, somehow finds a way to endure and eventually thrive. Pomerantz rises from her long suffering not as an invulnerable superhero, undaunted and unmarred by all that has occurred, but as an ever more deeply feeling and thoughtful woman, mother and therapist―and, more beautiful for it."
―Charles McCormack, MA, MSW, LCSW-C, author of Treating Borderline States in Marriage and Hatching Charlie: A Psychotherapist's Tale

"At a moment in our history when malignant narcissism in our leaders has become a national obsession, Pomerantz offers intimate insight and astute clinical observations in her memoir, recounting her marriage to a malignant narcissist, illustrating with humor and humanity how they can both charm us and harm us, and how to survive, and grow from the experience."
―John Gartner, Ph.D. author of In Search Of Bill Clinton: A Psychological Biography

"Diane Pomerantz's story of the longing for children and the reality of a punishing marriage may be an often-told tale, but Pomerantz's is a majestic talent for conjuring emotion and compelling the reader with an authentic and heartbreaking story."
Jacquelyn Mitchard, New York Times best-selling author of The Deep End of the Ocean

"This brave and extremely well-written memoir, Lost in the Reflecting Pool, is a must-read for victims of a personality disordered partner, as well as those seeking a quality read. Those victimized by a narcissist will relate, never considering the same could happen to a professional, a psychologist. That's where Dr. Pomerantz proves us wrong. By skillfully and concisely sharing her story of a 20-year marriage to a narcissist, enduring infertility, adoption, and eventually cancer, I can only applaud Dr. Pomerantz for her bravery in sharing her story. Her epilogue uniquely ties the narrative together, not with pain and blame, but with beauty and love of life. One can only learn from reading this book."
―MrsXNomore, author The Secret Life of Captain X: My Life with a Psychopath Pilot

"Diane's story is, sadly, the story of far too many women who fall in love with a man and ignore the early warning signs that he might just be a bad choice as a life partner. Charles woos her with flowers, says all the right things, and when he says or does the wrong thing, she dismisses it, thinking the problem is her and not him. If ever there was a story that proves how blinding it can be to fall hopelessly in love, Lost in the Reflecting Pool is that story. Highly recommended reading."
―Readers' Favorite

"Diane Pomerantz’s memoir will make your mother-in-law feel every emotion in the book. It tells the psychological love story of how she struggled, and ultimately escaped, her emotionally abusive relationship with a pathological narcissist. It’s incredibly dark but incredibly powerful.”
― HelloGiggles

"Lost is the Reflecting Pool isn’t specifically an adoption book; it is more about Pomerantz’s relationship with her husband. It’s an interest- ing read, especially in the fact that Pomerantz is a therapist, yet had trouble recognizing the narcissism and concerning behaviors of her husband over the years.”
― Adoption Magazine

"A profoundly absorbing read from cover to cover, Lost in the Reflecting Pool is a starkly candid account that is in thematic accord with the suddenly raised public consciousness of how women everywhere must struggle with cultural misogyny and institutionalized male abuse within the home, within the workplace, and within the community at large. This deftly written and deeply personal account is very highly recommended, especially for community and academic library Contemporary American Biography collections.”
―Midwest Book Review

About the Author

Dr. Diane Pomerantz is a clinical psychologist who has been in practice working with children, adolescents, and adults in the Baltimore, Maryland area for over thirty-five years. She has done extensive work in the area of trauma and child abuse and research in the area of personality development of abused children. She currently runs Healing Through Writing groups in her practice. She is a breast cancer survivor and has two wonderful grown children. She and her shaggy dog, Rug, live amidst tall trees on the outskirts of Baltimore, Maryland.

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Lost in the Reflecting Pool: A Memoir