Lionheart: The Real Life Guide for Adoptive Families

by Jodie Hampshire

$18.99

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Author: Jodie Hampshire

Publisher: Big Love Family Projects

Paperback:
ISBN 10: 0648116808
ISBN 13: 978-0648116806

This is the book the authors wish they had a decade ago as they started out to raise healthy and resilient adopted children – and stay sane in the process.

You’ve completed the paperwork, waited and waited and then waited some more. Then, your adopted child is yours to parent. And you plan to parent them better than anyone has ever been parented before. You’ve trained for this, you’ve prepared for this. You are so ready!

Before long, you realise that the hard work is just starting. You realise that you are dealing with a child who has experienced trauma, and that you need to partner them in healing. You face a world that treats you differently because you are an adoptive family. You start to feel isolated as people tell you “that’s just kids”. You feel like that just isn’t true.

This is where Lionheart comes in. This book was written over two years, a collaboration between four adoptive parents with over a decade of intercountry adoption experience each. It honestly and humorously shares the authors’ issues, mistakes and triumphs – from the early days, the central issue of trauma, behavioural challenges, the therapy and strategy toolbox, and parental self-care.

Lionheart chronicles years of trial and error and many (so many!) mistakes, and through shared struggles, successes and learnings will provide you comfort that you’re not alone.

Lionheart is a for-purpose venture, with all proceeds from the book supporting a range of targeted projects benefiting vulnerable children in Liberia, Sierra Leone and Cambodia, under the banner of Big Love Family Projects. Visit lionheartfamilies.com for resources and project updates.

About the Author

Jodie Hampshire is the author and publisher of Lionheart. A mother of four, she has been an adoptive parent for over a decade. Her professional education was in finance, where she works full-time. Over the years, she's worked in Sydney and London for investment managers, she's been a stay-at-home mum, established a children's fashion line and been a Board director. With her research and logic-based training, she naturally assumed she would be able to figure out adoptive parenting without too many issues. She assumed that plenty of love and enough money could fix everything. She quickly learned how naïve she was. She has particular expertise in therapeutic parenting, post-traumatic stress disorder and older child adoption. Jodie had long murmured about writing a book on adoptive parenting. A bout with breast cancer left her with a renewed commitment to chase her dreams. She easily convinced her collaborators and dear friends to join her in creating the adoptive parenting guidebook they wish they had had ten years ago. Jodie writes with honesty, humour and pragmatism. She says that writing Lionheart has been the cheapest therapy she has ever had. Most of the book was written in ten minute snippets in bed on Sunday morning, on the bus or on a plane returning from a business trip. Her favourite parenting advice is to be unshockable, always. And this too shall pass. Both pearls of wisdom have been applied countless times to her adoptive parenting life. She expects they'll continue to be used with great regularity. Jodie lives with her family near the beach in Sydney. Beyond her family, she is obsessed with her cats, exercise, the ocean, Picnic bars and people with big dreams or big hearts, or even better, both.

Selina Smyth is an author of Lionheart. A mother of four, she has been an adoptive parent for over a decade. Selina was the first to adopt of the three authors, despite being the youngest. Selina's early background was Human Resources and she has taken on some Human Resource work when it made sense for her family. However, since having her children, she has preferred to be a stay-at-home mum, as well as provide ongoing support for other families in the region looking to adopt. At the same time, Selina has retrained for her consultancy work. During her adoption journey, it became evident to her that attachment and trauma-centred therapists were few and far between, and especially in her city of Dubai. Selina studied Dyadic Developmental Psychotherapy in London. She also earned her MSc (Psychology). Both of these cemented approaches she'd been using since adopting her children and given her a broader understanding of neuroscience and how early trauma can affect so much of the brain. She's always been routine-based to provide structure for her kids. She taught the other authors the "I wonder..." strategy in the book. She has particular expertise in therapeutic parenting, parenting sick children, attachment issues and older child adoption. Selina contributed to the book for a few reasons. One is, it encouraged her to write down more of her personal stories and how she came to adopt. Two, it was extremely therapeutic to do so! And finally, because she knew this book had the potential to help lots of adoptive parents on their journey. Selina's favourite parenting advice is "Never parent in isolation! It takes a village to raise a child and this extended support is vital for any parent; biological or adopted." Selina lives with her family in almost always-sunny Dubai, but enjoys several trips home to her country farmhouse in Scotland each year. She is currently providing consultancy and parent preparation training to adoptive families. Beyond her family, she is obsessed with travel. She is fortunate to be able take her children on countless crazy adventure trips each year and hopes one day they share her own sense of adventure and love for the third world.

Tammie Flinos is an author of Lionheart. A mother of four, she has been an adoptive parent for over a decade. Tammie is a trained midwife and loves all things related to babies, children and animals. Since having her children, Tammie has mostly been a full-time mum, with a period running a children's dance-based activity class with Selina, a stint running a small Steiner school and providing birth education and support wherever she has been based. Tammie has been challenged as an adoptive mother, like the other authors. For Tammie in particular, her own sunny disposition saw her to wanting to love the trauma out of her child. She learned that allowing a child to feel real, negative emotions is exactly what they sometimes need. She has expertise in attachment issues, sensory issues and baby adoption. Tammie's writing is much like her approach to life: full of emotion, and full of love. During the writing process, Tammie was the one who brought lots of the heart to the book. Tammie's favourite parenting advice is when a child is acting out, there is something emotional going on inside. Creating a safe space for them to be able to express their real emotions helps to decrease these outbursts or calm them after they occur. Tammie recently returned to Australia where she lives with her family on a property on the Mornington Peninsula. Adding animals almost weekly, she is now where she's dreamt of being for some years. Being settled in Australia is also allowing her to start her business, Sway Natural Birth and Parenting. Beyond her family, she is obsessed with creating new ideas, dancing, yoga, children's books and travelling.

Robert Harris is a contributor to Lionheart, providing content from his interest in the neuro-science of developmental trauma and a male’s approach to relational interaction with adopted children. A father of four (and Jodie Hampshire’s husband), he has been an adoptive parent for over a decade.

Robert is a retired banker and barrister. He takes a research-based approach to life in general, and his approach to adoptive parenting is no different. Since retiring from professional life, he set up a therapy business based on drumming, Drum Therapy Australia and he runs The Sydney Community Drum Circle for adults of all ages and abilities.

Robert has particular experience in trauma-informed parenting, therapeutic parenting, post-traumatic stress disorder and older child adoption. He is currently pursuing post graduate qualifications in child developmental trauma.

His favourite parenting advice is that every action, every behaviour, is totally and utterly logical to the child at the time. Keeping this in mind helps him retain calm and perspective when dealing with tricky issues.

Robert lives with his family near the beach in Sydney. Beyond his family, he is obsessed with drumming, playing the piano badly, Krav Maga, dad jokes and dad dancing.

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Lionheart: The Real Life Guide for Adoptive Families