A Survival Guide to Parenting Teens: Talking to Your Kids About Sexting, Drinking, Drugs, and Other Things That Freak You Out

“If you, or any you know, are the parent or relative of a teen, this book is for you.” --Work & Family Life

“…gives parents the ammunition, information, and permission to meet these parenting challenges with open eyes and firm resolve.” --Publishers Weekly

"It's like having my very own ‘therapist’ on my night table, to give me advice any time I need it." --Ms. Toody Goo Shoes

“…book you'll keep in your night stand, or in the kitchen drawer, or in your purse (because we've all had those days, am I right?).” --BlogHer

"Every time I hear a friend tells me that their kid is ‘driving them crazy’, I recommend this guide!” --Care’s Online Book Club

"It’s a great and informative read that you won’t regret if you have or will soon have a teen in your home." --Mom on the Side

“Parents of teens needing a supportive, insightful guide to help them through the pitfalls of their child’s toughest years should take a look at A Survival Guide…" --The Sun Daily

“..Geltman’s advice will arm you with knowledge and tools that you can use to better understand and parent your teen. I highly recommend it.” --Mother Daughter Book Club

“The book is honest, open and frank and really allows any parent to understand the issues at hand.” --Dad of Divas’ Review

"The book is easy to understand and written with an appropriate level of humor....If you have a teenager, or a child who will soon be there, it's definitely worth getting!" --Motherhood Moment

Turn back the clocks! Your sweet child has morphed into a teen. And it's no longer just a messy bedroom or an attitude with a capital "A" causing concern. There's a whole new range of issues on the horizon.

What if your daughter texts a naked picture to a "boyfriend"...which he then forwards to the entire class? What if your son becomes increasingly withdrawn...Or your child is being bullied online? Would you know what to do? You could read a whole book on teen psychology--but who has the time! As a parent, what you need most is quick and candid advice for dealing with the issue at hand. After all, if you say the right thing you will open up the lines of communication, but say the wrong thing...and WATCH OUT.

A Survival Guide to Parenting Teens is the solution. Covering a broad range of issues from the terrifying (sex, drinking, drugs, depression) to the frustrating (defiance, laziness, conformity, entitlement), parenting expert Joani Geltman approaches each of the 80 topics with honesty and a dash of humor. Want to understand why teens do what they do? Joani reveals what they are thinking and feeling--and what developmental factors are involved. She then explains how to approach each problem in a way that lets your kid know you "get it" and leads to truly productive conversations.

From lying to sexting to falling grades, the teenage years can be an uphill battle. Here is the no-nonsense guide you need to get your teen talking, listening, and back on track.

The quitter. The narcissist. The clone. The smartphone addict, eyes fixed on the tiny screen, doing . . . what?

There’s a strange new creature living under your roof. Your job now is to figure out what makes your teen tick, and to steer them to a productive path—away from the lures and dangers of drinking, drugging, sexting, bullying, and other bad decisions.

A Survival Guide to Parenting Teens makes it easier than ever before. Cutting through the teen drama and parental confusion, the book delivers fast answers and targeted solutions to 80 behaviors that drive parents nuts. Just locate the problem you’re dealing with, and you’ll find a brief but insightful analysis of what your teen is really thinking and feeling, along with smart, effective advice on what exactly you should say and do. By acting quickly, calmly, and knowledgeably, you can halt your teen’s spiral, open up the lines of communication, and get your child back into a positive, responsible, and respectful place.

The quitter. The narcissist. The clone. The smartphone addict, eyes fixed on the tiny screen, doing . . . what?

There’s a strange new creature living under your roof. Your job now is to figure out what makes your teen tick, and to steer them to a productive path—away from the lures and dangers of drinking, drugging, sexting, bullying, and other bad decisions.

A Survival Guide to Parenting Teens makes it easier than ever before. Cutting through the teen drama and parental confusion, the book delivers fast answers and targeted solutions to 80 behaviors that drive parents nuts. Just locate the problem you’re dealing with, and you’ll find a brief but insightful analysis of what your teen is really thinking and feeling, along with smart, effective advice on what exactly you should say and do. By acting quickly, calmly, and knowledgeably, you can halt your teen’s spiral, open up the lines of communication, and get your child back into a positive, responsible, and respectful place.

Advance Praise for A Survival Guide to Parenting Teens

“A Survival Guide to Parenting Teens is brimming with practical, useful advice; overflowing with humor and warmth; packed with wit and wisdom. An easy read-through, but also a hugely valuable reference for those moments when you need help NOW.”

— Edward Hallowell, MD, founder of The Hallowell Centers

“When it comes to our kids, how often do we all wish a parenting expert was right there telling us how to deal with each situation that stumps us? The best thing about this book is we can look up the problem we’re facing and get a quick-fix answer. Because honestly, as parents, who has time to read a whole book on this stuff?”

— Sara Gilbert, mom, actress, co-host of The Talk, and author of The Imperfect Environmentalist

Joani Geltman, MSW, has a master’s degree in social work and is an expert in child development and parenting. She presents her popular course, Adolescent Psychology, to schools and community groups; hosts Ask the Expert gatherings for parents; and provides home-based parent coaching services.

For more information on Joani and her work, visit her site at: www.joanigeltman.com.

JOANI GELTMAN has a Masters degree in Social Work, and is an expert in child development and parenting. She presents her popular course, Adolescent Psychology, to schools and community groups, hosts Ask the Expert gatherings for parents, and provides home-based parent coaching services.

INTRODUCTION

Help! I’m sick and tired of fighting with my teen about getting out of bed every morning!

Help! That attitude has to go! I’ve taken away the cellphone, the computer, and the Xbox, but he doesn’t seem to care what he loses. He’s still rude!

Help! My teen is on Facebook 24/7. Can’t she just read a book for a change?

Help! I just picked up my teen’s cellphone and OMG I can’t believe what I read!

I get messages like these all the time from desperate parents anxious for answers to the daily hassles they experience with their teens. Which is why I wrote this book. When you’re in a crisis with your teen—whether it’s a blowup between the two of you that got out of control; school, homework, and grades that have become a daily battle of wills; or frustration over your teen’s cellphone addiction, Facebook use, or video games—you don’t have the luxury of reading a tome on teen development. When you need help, you need help now! A Survival Guide to Parenting Teens is your 911 call. It’s the “Hints from Heloise” of parenting books. You read what you need, when you need it.

This book contains 80 entries, grouped by categories ranging from keeping your teen motivated in school, to dealing with teen “attitude,” to understanding your own parenting style, to social networking, to the classic teen triumvirate of sex, drugs, and alcohol. Each freestanding entry begins with a “Here’s the Problem” section, which lays out a specific issue from your point of view.

The next section, “Why It’s a Problem,” explains what your teen was thinking . . . or not thinking. It provides you with an objective, “take your own emotions out of it for a minute” framework that offers you a perspective other than your own and can make all the difference when you’re headlong into a crisis. Much of your interaction with your teen may feel very personal, but often it has nothing whatsoever to do with you. Nonetheless, when your teen pushes your buttons, it becomes all about you, which is the reason it’s important to take a step back and understand the “why” of it all.

Finally, each entry ends with a “Here’s the Solution” section that gives you a strategy. I tell you what to do, explain how to do it, and give you some ideas as to what to say to resolve the situation.

You can start anywhere. Whatever page you turn to, you now know exactly what you’ll find in that entry: Here’s what my teen’s doing, here’s why my teen’s doing it, and here’s what I can do to make it better. Ahhhh, you sigh, I think I can handle this!