Solutions: Enhancing Love, Sex, and Relationships

by Leslie Cameron-Bandler

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Author: Leslie Cameron-Bandler

Publisher: Futurepace

Paperback:
ISBN 10: 0932573010
ISBN 13: 978-0932573018

This is a book about fulfillment and choice. The practical and effective solutions presented in the following pages will enable you, if you choose, to convert the promise of personal satisfaction and fulfillment into reality.

Although the material in this book is used by clinicians in the field of psychology, all of the concepts and methods are discussed in everyday terms. Each important point is amplified with anecdotes and actual examples from my rich background in helping people achieve happier and more fulfilling lives. Even though the presentation of this material is oriented around couple relationships and sexual functioning, it is important to know that these techniques are just as effective in producing desired change in all of the other significant areas of life. The following set of resources is a therapist's guidebook that anyone can use to resolve problems and make their life more of what they want it to be.

This revised and expanded edition of this work (formerly titled They Lived Happily Ever After) contains all of the methods and techniques formulated by my colleagues and me during our development of the field of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP). That remains unchanged; none of the original book has been deleted since each item has proven its value in creating positive change. But while this book has received a generous and enthusiastic response over the years, time has not stood still and even an excellent product of the past needs updating and improvement.

In addition to stylistic revisions, I have added several important new techniques that I developed during the past few years. These techniques work to remedy problems that were generally considered unsolvable when I first wrote this book. The new sections on the threshold pattern in relationships (Chapters 9 and 17) are especially relevant to anyone who wants to understand the process of falling in and out of love, and to everyone who wants to know what to do to maintain a loving an supportive relationship.

I have written this book for anyone who wants the experience of sexual fulfillment and nurturing relationships to reside within the realm of choice and control. The information contained in the following pages is for seekers and doers, people who will not settle for less when they know that more is within reach.

Be comfortable and curious as you read this book. Recognize yourself and others in the descriptions and stories. Practice the techniques--they work. Use what you are about to learn, and enjoy.

Review

A first-class primer, a well-organized and easily-read survey of all the basic premises and techniques of Neuro-Linguistic Programming. -- Bill Bergman, NANLP Newsletter Cameron-Bandler has learned and taught some remarkably effective ways for families and couple to succeed in their efforts to break through communication barriers. -- Journal of Marital and Family Therapy My favorite NLP book. The author, an outstanding counselor and one of the developers of NLP, has compassionate friendliness and honesty as well as expertise. -- Nancy Freedom, Neuro-Linguistic Programming Bibliography One could hardly ask for a better demonstration of NLP's potential power or the effectiveness of Cameron-Bandler's presentation. -- Sex Information & Education Council of the US Solutions is a like a magical map, designed to assist anyone interested in more successfully getting to where they want to go and more happily navigating the realms of human interactions. -- Mark Roche, Parents Theosophical Research Group Parents Bulletin Solutions is well-written and does a good job of explaining both NLP and NLP techniques. I would recommend this book, even for the skeptics of NLP. -- Family Relations: Journal of Applied Family & Child Studies This book is probably the best introduction to NLP. Leslie Cameron-Bandler is a highly-gifted and caring therapist. --Eric Robbie, Human Potential Magazine

From the Author

I have specialized for many years in working with troubled couples, as well as couples and individuals suffering sexual dysfunction. As a result of my experience and background I developed therapeutic models and techniques for correcting relationship problems and sexual dysfunction. These models have come about as a result of studying such therapeutic wizards as Fritz Perls, Virginia Satir and Milton Erickson; doing therapy with countless couples, individuals, and families; and through seminars with a variety of professional communicators.

My purpose in modeling human experience is to overcome limitations and transform them into possibilities rich with choices. The purpose of this book is to make available to you the information and skills which make it possible to be successful in helping people establish enriching and fulfilling couple relationships, including mutually-satisfying sexual expression. The skills presented in this book include perceptual and behavioral options you need to transform a person's experience from a set of limitations to a set of choices. Each model and change technique includes a behavioral outcome that is easily-testable and verifiable in your sensory experience, leaving no doubt about its validity.

A model is a representation of experience, in the same way that a map is a representation of an area of territory, or a model airplane is a representation of a full-sized functioning airplane. The models presented here are blueprints for moving from unwanted to wanted experience. These models of change satisfy four conditions: (1) they work to produce the results they were designed for, (2) they are described in a step-by-step manner, so they are learnable and reproducible, (3) they are elegant, i.e., they use the least number of steps necessary to achieve the outcome, and (4) they are independent of content and deal with the form of the process, and therefore have universal applicability.

The models of change presented here use explicit, operational procedures to move a person from one specific experience to another. It is possible to give people directions that, when followed, will results in their arrival at the desired location. What is needed is knowledge of the present location, knowledge of the desired location, and knowledge of the possible routes between the two. If you have an overview of a maze, it is quite simple to chart a path from the center of the maze to freedom. Without such an overview you would waste precious time and energy on circular wanderings and dead ends. This book shows you how to determine the present or existing experiential location and how to specify the desired experiential location; it also provides choices (with instructions) for going from one to another.

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