When Love Is a Lie: Narcissistic Partners & the Pathological Relationship Agenda

by Zari L Ballard

$11.99

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Author: Zari L Ballard

Publisher: CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform

Paperback:
ISBN 10: 149040709X
ISBN 13: 978-1490407098

[Now includes a 14-page excerpt from Zari Ballard's new book Stop Spinning, Start Breathing]

When our committed relationship involves a narcissistic partner or someone with a narcissistic personality disorder, it is inevitable that the experience, at some point, will take a very dark turn. Pathological liars, chronic cheaters, and masters at passive-aggressive punishments (i.e. the silent treatment), narcissists follow a specific relationship agenda where every deceptive move is deliberately calculated to confuse and abuse the people who love them. And, as crazy as it appears, those who love the narcissist will stick it out, thinking they can fix this person or love them out of their bad behavior...but the truth is that neither is possible. Narcissists, psychopaths, and sociopaths can never be fixed - not with love, therapy, and not with any magic pill. I know...because I stumbled down this very path for twelve long years.

Do the behaviors of your partner continually cause you to feel suspicious? Are you subjected to silent treatments and other forms of controlling punishments? Do you find yourself choosing to overlook these behaviors rather than face a confrontation? Does your partner appear to create chaos just to keep you feeling anxious and insecure? Are you obsessed with trying to figure it all out? Answering "yes" to any of the above indicates that you may be involved with a narcissistic partner...a person without a conscience...a pretender...someone who is manipulating your life to suit his own purpose. You may even feel an agonizing codependency - not only to the narcissist but to the drama itself - and this, too, is an intention of the narcissist's pathological relationship agenda.

When Love Is a Lie is a personal, non-clinical narrative that exposes the typical manipulative behavioral patterns of narcissistic partners. Based on my own 12-year experience, this book deliberately offers no excuses for narcissism (medical or otherwise) nor does it encourage readers to cut a narcissistic partner any slack whatsoever. This book is about the reality of the situation, about why we become codependent to the drama, and, most importantly, what we can do about all of it to save our own lives.

Learn how/why a lover or partner with a narcissistic personality...

can never have - or even pretend to have - the love-worthy human qualities (the undeniable truths!) that make up the beauty of life.

can - and probably has - deliberately and methodically managed down your relationship expectations so that you expect less and he gets away with more

will use the Silent Treatment and similar demoralizing methods of control to punish those who dare to call him out on questionable behaviors

will create chaos even during "good" times as a tactic for keeping you in a constant state of codependent anxiety

will juggle many relationships at once and often for years with no one being the wiser...not even you

lies even when the truth is a better story

Realizing the truth about your narcissistic partner is never easy but it's not the end of the world. Use this book to separate yourself from the narcissistic drama once and for all.

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From the Author

[Also by Zari Ballard: Stop Spinning, Start Breathing (Narcissist Abuse Recovery: Managing the Memories That Keep Us Addicted), Narcissist Free: A Survival Guide for the No-Contact Break-Up, & When Evil Is a Pretty Face (Female Narcissists & the Pathological Relationship Agenda)]

Deliberately non-clinical in content, When Love Is a Lie is a book based solely on my personal perspective and experience concerning narcissistic behavior. In other words, readers seeking medical explanations for narcissistic behavior or positive coping strategies for dealing with a narcissistic or psychopathic partner will be disappointed. When Love Is a Lie is about recognizing the reality of our situation when we love a narcissist or sociopath... and also about understanding our own codependency to the very drama that we claim to hate. It is my hope that, by demystifying typical narcissistic behavior patterns, we can move away from fear and escape the darkness before too much time has passed. I will outline the logical thought process that, after 12-long years with my own narcissistic abuser, helped me to accept the final discard and mentally let go of the pathological, narcissistic lie. It's a process for which I am most grateful and one that I feel could make a difference to others.

Knowing that passive-aggressive manipulation is, by its very nature, a difficult dynamic to comprehend, I make no attempt to sugarcoat the facts (as I believe many books on narcissism tend to do). That being said, instead of being difficult to write, the book itself - the writing process - was, indeed, very cathartic for me. I know now, of course, that I was simply ready to write it...to expose the pathological relationship agenda and admit to (and discuss) the codependency factor ..... to pass on what I learned from the experience and to share some words of inspiration given to me by some wise women (and men) who had been there, done that. It was, simply, time to make it happen.

If When Love Is a Lie succeeds in providing even just a single reader with a validation of her experience and the strength to either stay away or make an escape,then I will have more than exceeded my goals for this little book.

About the Author

Zari is a Freelance Writer/Author (and single mom) who resides with her son in Tucson, AZ at the base of the beautiful Catalina Mountains. Born and raised in Rhode Island, Zari, then an aspiring journalist, graduated from Rhode Island College with a B A in Mass Media Communications/English and headed off from the ocean state for a life in the Southwest.

In 2005, when her son's diagnosis with child-onset schizophrenia changed everything, Zari set aside the executive rat race in lieu of a home-based career as a Freelance Writer. A leap of faith that could have gone either way, the choice to work from home was meant-to-be and she has never looked back.

Motivated by the success of When Love Is a Lie, Zari has since published three additional books about narcissism in relationships - Stop Spinning, Start Breathing, a journal-style workbook about narcissist abuse recovery, Narcissist Free: A Survival Guide for the No-Contact Break-Up, and When Evil Is a Pretty Face, for male victims of female narcissists. In addition, she will be publishing a memoir about her son's life and recording a podcast series based on her books about narcissism.

For informative articles about narcissism in relationships and the opportunity to communicate with Zari in forum-style conversations, please visit Zari's blog: TheNarcissisticPersonality.com.

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When Love Is a Lie: Narcissistic Partners & the Pathological Relationship Agenda