The Dance of Connection: How to Talk to Someone When You're Mad, Hurt, Scared, Frustrated, Insulted, Betrayed, or Desperate

"Lerner's mass appeal results in.accessible and well-organized work that.belongs in all libraries Highly recommended." (Library Journal )

"I love Hariet Lerner's work." (-Anne Lamott, author of Traveling Mercies )

In her most affirming and life-changing book yet, Dr. Harriet Lerner teaches us how to restore love and connection with the people who matter the most. In The Dance of Connection we learn what to say (and not say) when:

• We need an apology, and the person who has harmed us won't apologize or be accountable.
• We don't know how to take a conversation to the next level when we feel desperate.
• We feel worn down by the other person's criticism, negativity, or irresponsible behavior.
• We have been rejected or cut off, and the other person won't show up for the conversation.
• We are struggling with staying or leaving, and we don't know our "bottom line."
• We are convinced that we've tried everything -- and nothing changes.

Filled with compelling personal stories and case examples, Lerner outlines bold new "voice lessons" that show us how to speak with honor and personal integrity, even when the other person behaves badly.

Whether we're dealing with a partner, parent, sister, or best friend, The Dance of Connection teaches us how to navigate our most important relationships with clarity, courage, and joyous conviction.

Harriet Lerner, Ph.D., is one of our nation’s most loved and respected relationship experts. Renowned for her work on the psychology of women and family relationships, she served as a staff psychologist at the Menninger Clinic for more than two decades. A distinguished lecturer, workshop leader, and psychotherapist, she is the author of The Dance of Anger and other bestselling books. She is also, with her sister, an award-winning children's book writer. She and her husband are therapists in Lawrence, Kansas, and have two sons.