5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life: Identifying and Dealing with Narcissists, Sociopaths, and Other High-Conflict Personalities
ISBN 10: 9780143131366
ISBN 13: 978-0143131366
Some difficult people aren’t just hard to deal with—they’re dangerous.
Do you know someone whose moods swing wildly? Do they act unreasonably suspicious or antagonistic? Do they blame others for their own problems?
When a high-conflict person has one of five common personality disorders—borderline, narcissistic, paranoid, antisocial, or histrionic—they can lash out in risky extremes of emotion and aggression. And once an HCP decides to target you, they’re hard to shake.
But there are ways to protect yourself. Using empathy-driven conflict management techniques, Bill Eddy, a lawyer and therapist with extensive mediation experience, will teach you to:
- Spot warning signs of the five high-conflict personalities in others and in yourself.
- Manage relationships with HCPs at work and in your private life.
- Safely avoid or end dangerous and stressful interactions with HCPs.
Filled with expert advice and real-life anecdotes, 5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life is an essential guide to helping you escape negative relationships, build healthy connections, and safeguard your reputation and personal life in the process. And if you have a high-conflict personality, this book will help you help yourself.
"[This] brilliant book on high-conflict personalities saves us from trusting the wrong people and making the worst relationship mistakes at work, at home, and in our lives. You need this information today!"--Randi Kreger, bestselling author of Stop Walking on Eggshells and The Essential Family Guide to Borderline Personality Disorder
"5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life is a must read for the average person dealing with a high-conflict individual at home or at work. It is also essential reading for counselors, lawyers, judges, mediators, physicians, and virtually all other helping professionals."--Nancy Van Dyken, author of Everyday Narcissism
“Essential. Entertaining. Easy. If you’ve ever been the deer in the searchlight, frozen by excessive language or wildly inappropriate actions, this book is your lifesaver. Just one high conflict person in your life can steal your peace of mind for years. With memorable acronyms, readable prose, and clear examples, you can know exactly what to do to get back to safety. I may lend my copy, I may buy 10 copies for people I love, but I will not give my copy away. I’m keeping it as my get-out-of-trouble free guide.”--Anne Katharine, author of Boundaries in an Overconnected World
"Must. Read. The beauty of this much-needed book by Bill Eddy lies in its elegant simplicity, its specific and straightforward approach to understanding, identifying, and defusing high-conflict behavior. Bill's anecdotes, sample statements, and easy-to-remember techniques show readers how to protect themselves, set boundaries, and communicate limits, all with compassion and respect.”--Kimberlee Roth, co-author, Surviving A Borderline Parent: How to Heal Childhood Wounds & Build Trust, Boundaries, and Self-Esteem
"Bill Eddy, where were you when I needed you? I had never heard of a person with a high-conflict personality, but I spent years as a target of blame. If I had had your illuminating book 5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life, I would have understood, and I would have had tools and strategies for protecting myself. This book will help loads of people recognize, avoid, or manage the disturbing experience of being caught in the net of a person with a high-conflict personality. I love the book!"--Jean Illsley Clarke, bestselling author of Self-Esteem: A Family Affair and co-author of Growing Up Again and How Much Is Too Much?
"This book is full of easy-to-take-in information about high conflict personalities, and lots and lots of actionable tips. If you want to know HOW to stand up for yourself, and exactly WHAT to do, this book is for you. With case studies, short scripts to follow, and action steps, you're all set for managing the high-conflict individual in your life. Just be sure you do take action!"--Catherine Mattice Zundel, HR Consultant at Civility Partners, author of BACK OFF! Your Kick-Ass Guide to Ending Bullying at Work
"A deeply wise, much-needed, and extremely readable analysis of the five kinds of high-conflict personalities. If there is an HCP in your life, this invaluable book can help you stay sane in the midst of the pain and chaos they create."--Resmaa Menakem, MSW, author of Rock the Boat and My Grandmother's Hands
“What a terrific resource and reference book. This self-help manual will assist readers in dealing with destructive personalities in a positive way. This is a must read for everyone, and particularly for those in professions dealing with high-conflict personalities on a regular basis. What I love about it is that it is simple, clear and easy to remember—really a step by step guide in how to deal with destructive personalities in order to avoid causing them more distress and how to escape becoming their victim.”-- Susan P. Finlay, Judge of the Superior Court, ret., San Diego, California
“Like so many of Bill Eddy’s past books, so useful, practical and easy to read, this book will change your life. Having a personal relationship with a high-conflict person, who can be a serial relationship killer, is a scenario destined to ruin your life. This book is a comprehensive ‘how to’ protect yourself by understanding how high conflict persons act and behave and how to disengage in ways design to protect those persons who have been targeted.”--Sheldon E. Finman, Esq., family law attorney
“Bill Eddy translates for everyone the wisdom he's shared with lawyers, therapists, judges, human resource directors and other professionals about how to deal with highly challenging personalities we encounter in our daily lives. By providing us with proven techniques for handling people with these psychological disorders, Bill helps save us from months and years of frustration, heartache and agony.”-- Dennis L. Sharp, Esq., LL.M, Mediator, Sharp Resolutions
“We have all encountered high-conflict personalities—in our personal lives, at work, and in our neighborhoods. 5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life provides the reader with both a blueprint and the necessary tools to successfully survive these challenging people. We can’t change their personalities, but with this book we can learn how to effectively manage them.”--Denis Doyle, Ph.D., Retired Superintendent of Schools
“Bill Eddy has written an excellent common sense guidebook that provides behavioral maps of what is going on and what can be done about it. The heart of 5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life is the gift of a better future that it offers all of us who struggle with high-conflict personalities.”--John Dennis
About the Author
BILL EDDY is the co-founder and president of the High Conflict Institute, a company devoted to helping individuals and organizations deal with high-conflict people. Eddy is a Certified Family Law Specialist and Senior Family Mediator at the National Conflict Resolution Center in San Diego. He is also a Licensed Clinical Social worker with twelve years' experience providing therapy to children, adults, couples and families in psychiatric hospitals and outpatient clinics. He has taught negotiation and mediation and currently serves on the faculty of the Straus Institute for Dispute Resolution at the Pepperdine University School of Law.