A Good Apology: Four Steps to Make Things Right
Publisher: Grand Central Publishing
ISBN 10: 1538701316
ISBN 13: 978-1538701317
In the vein of Hold Me Tight and The Body Keeps the Score, this paradigm-shifting book on apologies shows how they work, why they're so hard, and why they are essential for rebuilding relationships.
We've all done something wrong or made a mistake or insulted someone -- even if by accident. We've all been hurt and wanted the other person to help us heal. It may be surprising, but the breaches themselves aren't the real problem; our inability to fix them is what causes us trouble.
In A Good Apology, Dr. Molly Howes uses her experiences with patients in her practice, research findings, and news stories to illustrate the power and importance of a thorough apology. She teaches how we can all learn to craft an effective apology with four straightforward steps.
An apology is a small-scale event between people, but it's enormously powerful. This comprehensive book gives readers the tools to fix their relationships, make amends, and move forward. With it, you'll fully understand the meaning and importance of this universal and timeless endeavor: a good apology.
"A Good Apology beautifully outlines how our relationships can dramatically improve by an authentic way to repair. Mistakes and ruptures happen, and Howes shows us how the practice of the apology is the first imperative step toward repair. By following her 4 steps to make things right, the practice of how and when we apologize can be honed to create transformative and positive change."―Eve Rodsky, New York Times bestselling author of Fair Play: A Game-Changing Solution for When You Have Too Much to Do (and More Life to Live)
"At a time when conflict and divisiveness seem to be engulfing us all, this wonderful, on-target book by Molly Howes is just what is needed! Here are practical, effective remedies that can help make reconciled relationships possible."―The Most Reverend Michael B. Curry, Presiding Bishop of The Episcopal Church
"This is the definitive book on how to make an apology that actually matters, that heals both parties, and that leads to growth, joy, and peace of mind. Accessible, authoritative, and filled with convincing real-life scenarios from this consummate clinician's own work, The Good Apology teems with warmth, wisdom, tenderness, and an infectious zest for making things right."―Edward Hallowell, MD, nationally bestselling co-author of Driven to Distraction
"Dr. Howes' beautiful book is a needed antidote to an era in which division has come to seem inevitable and conflict unresolvable. A Good Apology counters with a premise combining humility about the capacity of even the best among to cause harm and the possibility of human growth even in our darkest moments. It helps us forgive ourselves, too."― Frances Moore Lappé, New York Times bestselling author of Diet for a Small Planet and Daring Democracy
"I hope the whole world reads this book! Dr. Howes explores the power of a genuine apology in intimate relationships, politics, medicine and more, and she provides an elegant road-map for negotiating this tricky terrain. The ability to apologize is an often overlooked, but centrally important, aspect of happy relationships. Seamlessly written and saturated with wisdom, this book shows what it takes to free the heart - ours and others."
―Christopher Germer, PhD, author of The Mindful Path to Self-Compassion
"In A Good Apology, Dr. Molly Howes expertly delves into a difficult topic that helps us all become more loving and connected. In today's hectic world, nurturing our relationships is paramount. Through stories of people struggling and other useful tips and tools, Dr. Howes creates a road map we can all use to thrive."―Dr. Zelana Montminy, behavioral scientist & author of 21 Days to Resilience
"Healthy relationships are essential to how we live and work together. Imagine the benefit to business, families, governments, health care, faith communities, education, and our quality of life if human beings could learn to make a good apology. In this earnest and inviting book, Dr. Howes connects social science, popular events and her considerable clinical expertise to create an accessible formula for the repair of broken relationships. In our divided age, this should be required reading."―Nicholas Covino, President of William James College
About the Author
Molly Howes, PhD, is a Harvard-trained clinical psychologist and an award-winning writer. Following a Clinical Fellowship at Harvard Medical School, she completed her PhD in Clinical Psychology from Florida State University. For thirty-five years, she has maintained an independent psychotherapy practice in which she works with couples, as well as individuals of all ages. She has contributed to several academic papers and has presented at professional conferences. Her creative nonfiction has appeared in The New York Times "Modern Love" column, the Boston Globe Magazine, NPR's Morning Edition, and elsewhere. She has been a grateful fellow at Ragdale, VCCA, the MacDowell Colony. Her work was also listed as a Notable Essay in Best American Essays.