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Codependency: Stop controlling others and boost your self-esteem. How to spot and survive the hidden gaslight effect, save relationships affected by addiction, abuse, trauma or toxic shaming.

Author: Dr. Keith Sam

Publisher: Independently published

ISBN 10: 1659093996
ISBN 13: 978-1659093995

Fifteen years ago, I was in the midst of a codependent relationship, although at that time I had no idea that what we were doing had a name. For years we followed the typical pattern of codependent behavior, caught between one emotional disaster and the next, until one day I decided that something had to change. Through the next decade and a half, I learnt much about this 'dance' that I had been doing with my former partner, and how destructive and damaging it had been for the both of us. Through this book I hope to impart the lessons I learnt, the experiences I had, and the strength I found to move through these times and re-build my life.

  • In this book you will discover the meaning of codependency, how to recognize the signs of codependent relationship, and how to free yourself from its destructive clutches. I have included pertinent information designed to help you recognize the behaviors displayed by codependents, and techniques that you can implement immediately, to help you end a codependent relationship in a healthy and safe way.
  • Once you have broken free of codependency, there is a chapter on healing after a codependent relationship and how to prevent a slide back into old behavior, and another on rebuilding your emotional health from the ground up; and when you feel ready to enter into a new relationship, I have included some helpful tips to guide you through the process. Codependency is in fact a relationship of two-halves. One cannot be codependent alone. To be a codependent you must have an opposite and opposing role. While one person plays the role of the fixer or pleaser in the relationship, the other person acts out the part of taker or controller. A common example of this is where one partner is emotionally or physically abusive (the controller), and the other becomes 'used to' the behavior and learns not to challenge it (the pleaser).
  • In a codependent relationship one person encourages his partner’s addiction, under developed mental health, low achievement, irresponsibility or immaturity. It is a dysfunctional and highly unhealthy dependence on another person for approval.
  • Codependents are overpowered by a strong misconception that one’s sense of self-worth originates from others. Codependency not just prevents you from enjoying healthy, balanced and mutually fulfilling relationships, but also destroys your sense of self-worth, increasing the likelihood of mental disorders and inhibiting your ability to lead a rewarding life.
  • There is some confusion and vagueness when it comes to defining codependency. It is a complex psychological concept, which has multiple definitions and aspects. The dictionary states that codependency is an excessive emotional or psychological reliance on a partner, typically one with an illness or addiction, who requires support.
  • In this book, you will learn more about:
  1. What is codependency?
  2. Symptoms of codependency
  3. Crossing de-nile to recovery
  4. So, are you codependent?
  5. Getting started in recovery
  6. What made you codependent?
  7. Healing your wounds — freeing your self
  8. Welcome to the real you
  9. Building self-esteem and self-love
  10. Finding pleasure
  11. Letting go and non-attachment
  12. Speaking up
  13. Relating to your family, friends, and lovers
  14. Making relationships work
  15. Following your bliss
  16. The people-pleaser
  17. Being assertive
  18. The essential dictionary to understanding narcissistic abuse
  19. Narcissistic abuse
  20. Have a love affair with yourself?
  21. ... AND MORE!

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