Living Fully with Shyness and Social Anxiety: A Comprehensive Guide to Gaining Social Confidence

As a therapist who has led social-anxiety support groups and a shy person herself, Hilliard is well qualified to counsel those who want to feel less apprehensive in social situations. According to Hilliard, social anxiety and fear of rejection can be so severe that they prevent the sufferer from spending time with others. In an encouraging and friendly tone and drawing on patients' stories, Hilliard offers an action plan to combat this fear. The cornerstone is setting small but effective goals that are measurable, consistent and repeatable, such as initiating a conversation with one person every day. Hilliard also recommends specific verbal and physical techniques to reduce anxiety about job interviews, public speaking, dating and even everyday interactions with friends. In addition, she provides an overview of how social anxiety can affect the mind and body, as well as a nonjudgmental guide to anti-anxiety medications. (May)
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Erika Hilliard’s book is a significant contribution to our understanding of shyness and social anxiety -- Joyce Catlett, MA, co-author of Conquer Your Critical Inner Voice

The most comprehensive self-help guide yet published on this important topic. -- Jonathan Cheek, PhD, author of Conquering Shyness, professor of pscyhology, Wellesley College

"The most comprehensive self-help guide yet published on this important topic.... Hilliard advocates an approach through which a person can accept what is positive about being shy while at the same time learning how to work through excessive shyness, one step at a time. Her many years of experience as a leader of groups for shy people shine through in her rich examples and warm tone that help the shy reader feel not only informed but also truly understood. Her concluding chapter is an outstanding guide to how a shy person can use this book as a resource for renewing and maintaining motivation in spite of setbacks that might be encountered." —Jonathan Cheek, PhD, author of Conquering Shyness, professor of Psychology, Wellesley College

"This highly accessible book is an invaluable resource for people struggling with shyness and social anxiety, as well as those who care about them. The book is loaded with practical information, presented in an engaging and user-friendly style. Recognizing the wide diversity among socially anxious individuals, Hilliard reviews multiple strategies that can be tailored to meet each individual’s unique needs." —James D. Herbert, PhD, Director, Anxiety Treatment and Research Program, Drexel University

"Hilliard’s book is a welcome addition to the shyness self-help literature. Ms. Hilliard understands the experience of shyness, its strengths as well as its vulnerabilities. She does a lovely job of normalizing shyness as part of the human condition, while providing concrete strategies to practice new behavior in socially challenging situations. Her warmth is communicated to the reader, who is invited to share the experiences and the victories of those she has treated. The reader will develop their strengths, as well as counter their inhibitions, in the context of many shy people who are living successful, productive, and satisfying lives." —Lynne Henderson, PhD, Stanford University, Director, Shyness Clinic, Originator, Social Fitness Model "This is a very thorough and comprehensive book written with clarity and compassion. Erika B. Hilliard, a seasoned clinician, has skillfully brought together insights that are suited for both a professional and lay audience." —Lee Pulos, PhD, ABPP, Clinical Psychologist, author of The Power of Visualization and The Biology of Empowerment

"Erika B. Hilliard communicates a vast amount of often highly sophisticated information in a deceptively engaging, compassionate, supportive, and easy-to-read format that will be undoubtedly valuable to patients with social anxiety disorder and shyness as well as their therapists." —Lisa Miller, MD, Social Anxiety Disorder Group Therapist, Baylor College of Medicine

"Erika Hilliard has written a wise, compassionate, and comprehensive book on a problem that afflicts literally millions of people—social anxiety disorder. Very few of the people who suffer from this disorder currently receive treatment, either because they don’t think of their problem as a legitimate mental disorder, are unaware that help is available, or are too embarrassed to seek help. Hilliard’s book is a godsend to these people and their loved ones." —Ronald Kessler, PHD, Department of Health Care Policy, Harvard Medical School

"Many men and women suffer from shyness and social anxiety—something I discovered while writing a newspaper column about relationships and sponsoring events for singles. At last, Erika Hilliard has come along with a very practical, yet sensitive, guide to conquering these difficulties. It’s excellent." —Kathy Tait, former newspaper columnist and author of Love Smarts: A Singles Guide to Finding That Special Someone

"Erika Hilliard’s book is a significant contribution to our understanding of shyness and social anxiety. Her book not only describes the many predisposing factors of excessive shyness, it also explains, in satisfying depth, a variety of methods, exercises, and guidelines for challenging and overcoming this syndrome. For the multitude of people who suffer from debilitating forms of social anxiety, Living Fully with Shyness and Social Anxiety will prove itself to be a valuable resource. Of particular interest are the author’s descriptions of voice therapy methods for dealing with the negative thoughts influencing shyness and her list of the reasons why we should appreciate the positive functions of anxiety." —Joyce Catlett, MA, coauthor of Conquer Your Critical Inner Voice

ERIKA B. HILLIARD, MSW, RSW, is a registered clinical social worker and seasoned therapist with over thirty years of experience in mental health and psychiatry. She has been in private practice for over twenty years, fifteen of which have included facilitating social anxiety support groups. She lives in Vancouver, British Columbia.